The Equality of Differences – QRM post

Hey all — my blog post for Queer Romance Month is out and I wanted to mention it here because I think people might be interested in it. I called it The Equality of Differences and I don’t think I can totally copy the whole post over here (since that wouldn’t be fair to QRM) so instead I’m showing you just the beginning of it below. Follow the link at the end to read the rest. I have spent most of my life feeling like an alien on Earth. The main reason for this is because it has often felt like, at every step of the way, I was different than what society expected. My earliest memory is of being at recess in elementary school and running up to a teacher to ask, “What’s a lesbian?” I know I asked that question because somebody called me one, but I don’t remember exactly what they said, nor what the teacher’s response was. All I know is whatever the teacher said gave me the impression it was something very bad, because I remember running back and yelling at the other kid that I wasn’t a lesbian at all. I was too young back then to know I actually was a lesbian, and way too young to know I was asexual as well. Maybe if I’d known I wouldn’t have denied it to that kid, because later I would grow up to realize how important it is to be myself. Even when that means I feel like I don’t belong. For anyone who’s interested, I wrote a blog post earlier this year...

The Equality of Differences – QRM post

Hey all — my blog post for Queer Romance Month is out and I wanted to mention it here because I think people might be interested in it. I called it The Equality of Differences and I don’t think I can totally copy the whole post over here (since that wouldn’t be fair to QRM) so instead I’m showing you just the beginning of it below. Follow the link at the end to read the rest. I have spent most of my life feeling like an alien on Earth. The main reason for this is because it has often felt like, at every step of the way, I was different than what society expected. My earliest memory is of being at recess in elementary school and running up to a teacher to ask, “What’s a lesbian?” I know I asked that question because somebody called me one, but I don’t remember exactly what they said, nor what the teacher’s response was. All I know is whatever the teacher said gave me the impression it was something very bad, because I remember running back and yelling at the other kid that I wasn’t a lesbian at all. I was too young back then to know I actually was a lesbian, and way too young to know I was asexual as well. Maybe if I’d known I wouldn’t have denied it to that kid, because later I would grow up to realize how important it is to be myself. Even when that means I feel like I don’t belong. For anyone who’s interested, I wrote a blog post earlier this year...

Let’s Talk About It: the complexity of feminism

This is something I’m labeling as a “Let’s Talk About It” here because I ended up talking at length about this topic, but it originated from an ask on tumblr. Below is the ask, as well as my answer. I’m posting here because it’s a long answer and others may find it to be of interest, or I may want to find this post again in the future. Copied tumblr post below: I answered the ICoS questions in a different post so here I’m answering just the feminist question. I split them because whether I consider myself to be a feminist is a complicated/long answer on its own. You may be wondering why this part took me so much longer to answer. It’s because no matter how many times I started this post, it always devolved into way too many topics way too quickly and somehow it involved a rant. Although you said it was fine to rant, I felt like I wasn’t explaining my thought process well and I kept getting way too sidetracked. To me, everything is interconnected so there are several really big topics that can get pulled in from the simple question of “feminism: yes/no?”. This is probably try #6 on this post and hopefully this will be the last attempt. All of this is, of course, merely my personal opinion– other people could think completely differently than I do, and it doesn’t make them less valid than me. It simply makes them a human being with a different opinion, which is not something to judge but rather something to accept and even love. The...

Let’s Talk About It: the complexity of feminism

This is something I’m labeling as a “Let’s Talk About It” here because I ended up talking at length about this topic, but it originated from an ask on tumblr. Below is the ask, as well as my answer. I’m posting here because it’s a long answer and others may find it to be of interest, or I may want to find this post again in the future. Copied tumblr post below: I answered the ICoS questions in a different post so here I’m answering just the feminist question. I split them because whether I consider myself to be a feminist is a complicated/long answer on its own. You may be wondering why this part took me so much longer to answer. It’s because no matter how many times I started this post, it always devolved into way too many topics way too quickly and somehow it involved a rant. Although you said it was fine to rant, I felt like I wasn’t explaining my thought process well and I kept getting way too sidetracked. To me, everything is interconnected so there are several really big topics that can get pulled in from the simple question of “feminism: yes/no?”. This is probably try #6 on this post and hopefully this will be the last attempt. All of this is, of course, merely my personal opinion– other people could think completely differently than I do, and it doesn’t make them less valid than me. It simply makes them a human being with a different opinion, which is not something to judge but rather something to accept and even love. The...

Anti-bullying, and remember: you could become someone else’s bully

I received this message at tumblr, and after I posted my response I decided I wanted to add it to my blog as well– both so it wouldn’t be lost, and because this is something I believe very strongly that will never change. I see way too many people use their own real or perceived hurt to hurt others, and that is exactly what bullies are often thought to do. Don’t let yourself become so certain of your own moral superiority that you are blinded to the impact of your own actions or words. Wow, thank you so much for pointing that out! I hadn’t seen it before and it was amazing! Since I think everyone should watch it, here’s the video: I love the message in it, and that it stands for anti-bullying. I really like how it talks about the different parts, how something small can become something so huge. I could really identify with that, both for me and for some of my characters. I want to take a second to remind everyone how much words can hurt, and how verbal or emotional abuse can cause as much– if not, in some cases, actually more– long term damage as physical abuse. But I also want to mention something else: I think we should all strive to treat others the way we wish we would be treated. This is unrelated to this video but sometimes, especially on social media, I see people get so wrapped up in whatever cause they’re trying to champion that they start attacking everyone else, labeling them as XYZphobic or XYZist even when they...

Anti-bullying, and remember: you could become someone else’s bully

I received this message at tumblr, and after I posted my response I decided I wanted to add it to my blog as well– both so it wouldn’t be lost, and because this is something I believe very strongly that will never change. I see way too many people use their own real or perceived hurt to hurt others, and that is exactly what bullies are often thought to do. Don’t let yourself become so certain of your own moral superiority that you are blinded to the impact of your own actions or words. Wow, thank you so much for pointing that out! I hadn’t seen it before and it was amazing! Since I think everyone should watch it, here’s the video: I love the message in it, and that it stands for anti-bullying. I really like how it talks about the different parts, how something small can become something so huge. I could really identify with that, both for me and for some of my characters. I want to take a second to remind everyone how much words can hurt, and how verbal or emotional abuse can cause as much– if not, in some cases, actually more– long term damage as physical abuse. But I also want to mention something else: I think we should all strive to treat others the way we wish we would be treated. This is unrelated to this video but sometimes, especially on social media, I see people get so wrapped up in whatever cause they’re trying to champion that they start attacking everyone else, labeling them as XYZphobic or XYZist even when they...

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